Expect the Unexpected
by Kitsune309
Summary: Matthew wasn't generally that type of a guy, but something about a certain man made him feel very funny inside. Very funny indeed. SuCan Warnings: mpreg, yaoi, slash, human names used, AU
1. Chapter 1

Matthew pulled on his pants. It'd been one hell of a night. He normally didn't let himself get lost in the heat of the moment, but a combination of alcohol and techno music in the local night club left him waking up in the room of a stranger whose name he didn't know. Naked. And sore in significant places.

He bit his lip as he buttoned up his shirt. God, he hoped they'd used protection... But, honestly, he knew they probably hadn't. If they'd have been thinking about it enough to do that, they'd have at least taken the time to have a conversation with more than the words "Oh God!" and "Harder!"

He looked over his shoulder at the man sleeping in the bed. He was naked too, laying on his stomach and breathing deeply. Matthew was glad the blankets had slipped down, revealing his muscular back and smooth skin. He blushed when he realized that there were little pink crescent moons imprinted in it from the way he had been gripping that back the night before. He pushed his glasses back up his nose and walked out into the living room.

He was glad that his impromptu lover was still fast asleep, as he wasn't familiar with the etiquette for one night stands. Although, he mused, based on the tidiness of the apartment, he had good taste in men. He smiled to himself at the amusing thought. He should be beating himself up for sleeping with a stranger, but frankly this was the first time he'd had this good of sex since college.

Then, the shit hit the fan. He'd looked up after tying his shoes and saw the picture on the bookshelf. His paramour had his arms around another man. Nuzzling him. It was almost disgusting how in love they looked. To rub salt in the wound, there was a slightly worn gold wedding band beside the picture. With his happy bubble successfully popped, Matthew started feeling the effects of his hangover. He ran to the sink and threw up.

* * *

Hours later, Matthew was curled up in his own bed, hugging his knees. The man hadn't woken up before he left, and he was glad for that. What do you say to a man for whom you are almost definitely a colossal mistake. It's not pleasant being somebody's screw up. He sighed and wished sleep would just come already. He was tortured enough as it is.

After he'd grown tired of laying there trying to cure his tiredness, he changed his mind and took a shower. He turned up the water a little too hot, like usual, and let the cool November air in the window. The cold breeze across his skin when he got out made him feel cleaner than the actual shower had.

Matthew closed his eyes and let himself be miserable for ten minutes. He had to put a time limit on or he'd never be able to get off the sofa for his depression. But, for the ten minutes, he cried. He sobbed, and buried his face in the towel, and hated everyone involved. Then, he washed his face, dried himself, and wondered what there was to cry about involving the man whose name he'd never even asked. There was an answer, in the back of his mind. He felt it pressing. But he pushed it back away, and let the day resume.

Monday came and brought with it work. Matthew had a job in an office, coding software. Somehow on all their completed projects, his name always escaped the credits. If it wasn't for his regular paychecks, Matthew'd wonder if his boss even knew he existed.

Work wasn't all bad. The secretary was his best friend. The busty woman with short light hair and just a trace of an accent. Her name was Yekaterina, but he just called her Kat. She had to answer phones and redirect customers to tech support and complaints. Matthew'd often wondered how she tolerated the job, as every time someone spoke harshly towards her, she'd end up in tears in the break room.

"Hey, Kat..." Matthew smiled softly as he walked into the office. "How was your weekend?"

"Oh, Matthew! It was good. I spent some time with my sister..." Yekaterina turned a shade pinker. Matthew wondered if that was her explanation for more exciting occurrences, as the blush returned every time she mentioned her 'sister.' "Ahem, moving on." Kat said hurriedly, "How about your weekend Matthew?"

"Ah, it was... I'll tell you about it later. Come to coffee with me during lunch break."

"Alright, that's fine... Are you okay Mattie, you look about to cry..." Yekaterina was always fussing about him, almost like a mother. Maybe it was justified this time.

"I'm fine, Kat. Really. It was just more excitement than I'm used to."

She sipped her coffee and raised her eyebrows in the direction of the wavy haired boy across from her. "So, define excitement."

"It's a long story..."

"We've got an hour, start talking."

"Well... Um..." He was trying to stall. He was failing. He gave up. "Okay, I slept with this guy."

"Well, that was unexpected," Kat teased, smiling.

"Shut up," Matthew stuck his tongue out. "It didn't end good. He was married."

"Oooh, the plot thickens. So, you're a proper homewrecker now?"

"I didn't stick around to find out, actually."

"Well, he has your phone number, right?"

"Actually, he doesn't even have my name..."

"Matt!"

There was a long pause.

"You were... um... careful, right?" Her eyes widened.

Another long pause.

"I'll take that as a no..."

"It's not like I meant to... I was drunk. I barely remember the rest of the night besides the..."

"Matt, come on. Take friends with you when you go out. That keep stuff like this from happening. Do you know how bad this could en-"

"Yes! I know how bad this can end! Don't lecture me, I know I was stupid..."

She fell silent at the uncharacteristic outburst, and tears welled up in her eyes.

"Shit, I'm sorry, Kat... I didn't mean to yell... I'm just upset about it… More upset than I realized."

"I know, Matthew... It's okay, no harm done." She smiled shakily.

"Thanks." He smiled back, "I'm glad I've got you to tell in the first place."

Back at home, Matthew curled up with his teddy bear. He didn't want to have to pay any more attention to the problem than he had to, but he knew he should go to the doctor in another month or so, to check for disease. He wished that there was no such thing, and that one night stands could stay on that one night. Forever.

But the part of him in the back of his mind pressed again. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of that part. He didn't have time to listen to stupid ideas. And anything that wasn't a remark on what a mistake that night was had to be stupid. Damn thoughts. Damn night. Damn guy. He closed his eyes. Dammit.

-x-

It may continue.


	2. Chapter 2

*****Two Months Later******

Matthew hated the doctor. Not the man who was the doctor, he was nice, but the process of going to the doctor. The flimsy paper gown, and the cold rooms. Examinations were always a little awkward, and there was the confessions of reasons why he was there that made him want to crawl into a hole.

That being said, he liked the usual nurse, as well as his doctor. She was a sassy woman with hair just a shade browner than his own, and no problem pushing around the doctor, a man with dark brown hair and a tendency to lecture. He mused that they acted more like a married couple than most of the married couples he knew. Then, Dr. Edelstein came in.

"Hello, Mr. Williams. Nice to see you again. Or the opposite, knowing you only ever contact me when something is wrong." He peered at Matthew over his glasses.

"I'm sorry. I mean, I wasn't thinking about being rude. Y-you're just my doctor so I didn't think about sending Christmas cards or anyt-" Matthew stopped short when he realized the doctor was attempting humor.

Dr. Edelstein took the silence as a chance to put the conversation on a more professional level. "So, what are we seeing you for this visit?"

"Er... It's a long story.." Matthew shied away.

"Skip to the end, it's all I need."

"Okay, okay," he said in an embarrassed voice. "I'd like to get tested for STDs and such... I-"

Dr. Edelstein scribbled a quick note on his file and shut the folder finally. "Alright, if that's all, Elizabeth can take care of the lab test work. I can do a quick examination for outward symptoms if you'd like."

"No! I mean, uh, I checked it out earlier, so that won't be necessary." Matthew was blushing hard by now.

"Alright, then Elizabeth will be in shortly to draw your blood. Your results will be back in about a week, so we'll call you back to the hospital clinic then. In the meantime, consider chastity until we know." He stood up to head to the door.

"I haven't had sex since that ni-... Um, sorry, that's probably TMI. Thank you, Doctor."

"You're welcome Mr. Williams." The doctor stepped out, closing the door behind himself.

* * *

The call had come as promised, and Matthew came back, expecting a normal, though perhaps still unpleasant, visit. He walked through the hospital until he reached the doctor's office. Out of habit, he gave the door two little light raps to notify people as he came in. It was a habit grown from experience with people bowling him over because they didn't see him.

To his surprise, he didn't have to wait to be called back to an exam room. He didn't even have to check in at the front desk. Rather, Dr. Edelstein was waiting for him.

"I-is everything okay?" Matthew was about to panic. "Did I catch...?"

"No, but we do have to do some further testing to find out what you do have. Other than this one, possible, complication, your STD panel came back completely clean," he said with a professional tone.

"So if I don't have any of the STDs on the panel, then what..?"

"Mr. Williams, will you come with me to radiology? We need a CAT scan, and depending the results of that, an ultrasound." Dr. Edelstein studied his clipboard.

"Isn't that the thing you do to pregnant women?" Matthew asked, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"Please, just come with me."

* * *

Four hours later, Matthew arrived home from the hospital in a state of shock. He had no idea what to do next, what he had done, what was going to happen. Hell, he was having trouble with knowing which way was up right now. He curled up on the couch, wanting desperately to go to sleep and wake up in an alternate reality in which this was all a mistake. But that would require him to close his eyes, and they were staying open wide in a way that only being profoundly disturbed can do to you.

His mind was an enigma. His thoughts were racing, but the gears of comprehension of the situation were at a grinding, clicking halt. Someone had come and stuck a wrench right in the middle of them. He wanted to hate whoever it was. He wanted someone to yell at and push away. But he didn't know who. He considered the doctor, but brushed that off as a silly idea. He didn't get Matthew in this condition. Speaking of the man who did, his thoughts flitted to the blonde, blue eyed stranger. He was handsome, and forceful, yet gently and passionate and... He was a fucking cheating bastard.

Matthew burst into tears. He hated that man. He -hated- him. But the little part of his mind pressed again, whispering that he didn't hate him. Maybe what he felt was actually lo-. Shut the fuck up, mind. Matthew got up to stop that thought in its tracks and went to make himself busy doing anything.

When Matthew had finally calmed down, he sat down and took a deep breath. He rehearsed mentally a few times, then reached for the phone. He dialed the number, he had it memorized, then waited for an answer.

"Bonjour?" The familiar voice answered.

"Papa..."

"Matthew! It's been a while since I've 'eard from you, mon cher. 'Ow 'ave you been? Are you only calling me because you need money?"

"No, that's not why I'm calling! I'm 27, I can take care of myself..." Matthew grumbled.

"Oh, so you just wanted to 'ear the soothing sound of your papa's voice, did you?" Francis was almost crooning, half genuine and half teasing.

"No. Papa, listen. I have... A problem..." Matthew switched the phone to his other ear, feeling nervousness well up again.

Francis grew serious. "What is it, mon chou...?"

"Papa... Dad... I'm not exactly a man."

"I beg to differ. I changed your diapers. And if this is about you being gay, I've known since you were twelve and that doesn't mean you're not a man."

"Just listen, please? I know that I have all the makings of a guy... but I have girl parts on the inside... It's a birth defect, they said... I have a CAT scan that shows a... my... um... uterus."

Francis sat in open mouthed silence for a moment before regaining composure. "So... Do you need a surgery? Is it causing problems and needing to be removed..? Is that what this is about?"

"I wish it was that easy..." Matthew said quietly.

"What...? Matthew, I don't understand.."

"Dad... I'm pregnant..."

"Come again?"

"Pregnant! I'm pregnant..."

"I didn't know you even 'ad a boyfriend, dea-"

"I don't."

"Oh. Oh, Mattie... Who is..?"

Matthew started to cry, "I don't even know his name..."

"Oh, mon chou... It's okay... Your papa is 'ere for you... Do you want me to come over and stay with you for a while...?"

"No... I just want to try and let life go back to normal..."

"Mattie... Life is never going to be 'normal' again..."

"I know, Papa... I know..."

-x-

It may continue.


	3. Chapter 3

It'd been a week since Matthew found out he was pregnant with the child of a man he hadn't seen since the night it 'happened', and he hadn't slept a night since. He didn't know what to do, but he did know he wasn't sure. He wasn't sure about anything.

And he knew that instability would be the worst way to bring up a child. How was he supposed to be a parent when he didn't know how to be a normal guy. He just wasn't ready for it. He hadn't planned it. He didn't want it.

What if he stopped it now? He couldn't help but think it. It would be a good solution. He could be more careful in the future. It'd be better to do it now, before it'd be too late to get one. If he had the baby, he'd have to give it up for adoption. What kind of life would that be? They'd be pushed from foster home to foster home. Probably abused too. But he couldn't keep them. He couldn't afford to have another person to provide for even if he could keep a regular job.

"Fuck life," he said to no one in particular. "Fuck it with something hard and sandpapery."

He buried his face in his pillow and tried, unsuccessfully, not to cry. He was confused, and angry, and scared, and for the final kick to the ribs, he was lonely. He had never felt so incredibly alone. He cried harder. And, in between shoulder shaking sobs, called his best friend.

He told her the whole story. She knew about that night, but the aftermath was news to her.

"Oh my God..." she whispered.

"You said it."

"You need to not be alone right now, Mattie. I'd come over there right now if I wasn't busy. But... Don't just stay in. Please? For me? Even if you don't talk to anybody, just go out and be around people. It'll be good for you."

"But people... What if I start crying?" Matthew knew he was only whining now.

"Go to a bar. Only drink -water-, but blame it on vodka and they'll cut you some slack."

"That's a... Why vodka?" He gave a half-smile.

"Old habits die hard. Now get off the couch and go out. You've heard the stories about what my family can do." She threatened, for his own good.

"Okay, okay... I'll go out."

* * *

Matthew was regretting his concession hours later as he sat at the bar of the night club, trying to ignore the attempts at cannibalism via the face of the couple next to him. There was a wet squelchy sound as they pulled away from each other, giggling like school children. He glared at them, angry at them mostly for being so happy and carefree.

He couldn't stand them any longer. He slipped off his bar stool and walked towards the exit. He had just pulled open the door to leave when a strong hand grabbed his wrist. He turned to tell off whoever it was, but the words caught in his throat and his eyes widened.

Piercingly blue eyes stared back at him. Matthew would have whispered a name, but he didn't have one to use. He tried to think of what to do next. What to say? How to ask his name? Should he just pull away and run? Blurt out that he was pregnant? His thoughts, and the loud music, almost covered up the soft words that came from the man holding his wrist.

"Ah... I thought I'd ne'er find ya again..." He whispered it, as if he wasn't quite aware that his thoughts were being said out loud.

Matthew froze up. This sweet side, combined with everything attractive about him, and the warmth of his touch. This man was everything he wanted. All his emotions added up into one simple sentence.

"I fucking hate you!" Matthew screamed at him, causing some of the dancers to glance over in surprise. "I hate you!" He pulled away and dashed outside, tears welling up when his eyes met the cold air.

"Wait. Don' go... Not yet..." The gentle voice seemed just that much sweeter when Matthew could hear it better.

"Why not..? You're... You... You're married! I hate you!"

"I... Am not married..." the man said softly.

"Liar! I saw that picture and the ring, and..." Matthew failed at holding back the sob that rose up.

Strong arms reflexively pulled him close, trapping him compassionately against a broad chest. "No... No. I 'ad been married b'fore... But there was a d'vorce... A bad one... I haven't lov'd him for... years..." He sounded contemplative. Nostalgic, maybe. But, not sad. It was as if it was to him a complex truth that simply was.

"Why was the picture still..?"

"I kep' tryin' to force myself to go ba'k... I've a stron' loyal side... But.. It wasn't s'posed to be..."

Matthew just cried harder. "You used me!" He pushed him away as hard as he could, but Berwald caught his wrist. "You just took me home and fucked me! That doesn't change no matter who you loved!"

"No, that's not-"

"I don't even know your name!"

There was a pause, punctuated by tiny sobs on Matthew's behalf.

"Berwald..." The man finally said.

"Berwald..?" Matthew echoed uncertainly.

"Ah, no, you're sayin' the 'w' part wron'... Say it wit' me... Berwald."

"Berwald." Matthew said again, liking the name more each time he heard it.

"Good man..."

"Um... Can you let go of my hand... Berwald..?" Matthew asked.

"Ah! O' course." He pulled away quickly. "S'rry..."

"It's okay. Um... Matthew. I'd teach you how to say it, but it's hard to butcher Matthew."

"It's a stron' name. A good one," Berwald said.

"Um.. Thanks?"

There was another awkward silence.

Matthew's voice cracked from emotion. "I'm g-going to go home now."

"Wait. I don' want to lose track o' ya again... Can I have your number?"

"Well... Uh... I guess."

Matthew recited his phone number for him, wondering a minute later if he should have given him a fake one. He didn't want to have the father involved in this. It was his own body, and he had a right to choose. If only he knew which choice was the right one...

"Are ya free on Sat'rday..?"

"Wait..? Are you asking me out? Isn't this step coming a bit late?"

"Sorry..."

"I'm... Free."

Berwald lightened up visibly. "Perf'ct. I'll call ya... I promise."

"O-oh... Okay..." Matthew was getting more and more lost and confused. He decided to quit before things got any worse. "I have to go now. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Matthew..."

He struggled not to look back as he walked away, knowing if he did, he'd probably run right back into those arms.

-x-

It may continue.


	4. Chapter 4

The first time Matthew had gone on a date in two years, he was suffering from morning sickness. Never mind the fact that it was six in the evening. He buttoned up his shirt in front of the mirror, trying desperately not to look green in the face. He hoped they wouldn't be going anywhere with spicy food for supper. He'd just finished getting ready when the doorbell rang, and he went to answer it.

"Matthew..." Berwald said. "It's nice t' see ya again."

"Thank you." Matthew closed his eyes. He'd like to look at his date some more, he was extremely handsome, but if he opened his eyes at all, he might end up dashing to the bathroom.

"Are ya okay? Ya seem tired"

"I'm fine. I just have mor-..." He paused. "Migraines. A little migraine."

"Ah, I'm sorry. Is it still okay ya go out..? Do ya want t' take a rain check?"

"No, I'm alright. Really. This has been happening a lot lately." Matthew opened his eyes and smiled genuinely.

Berwald relaxed visibly. "If ya say so. Th' restaurant is quiet." There was a gentle expression on his face that was almost a smile, though Berwald rarely smiled.

"I do say so. Um... Shall we?"

Berwald offered Matthew his arm, and off they went.

* * *

Four hours later, the first part of their date was all but forgotten. Matthew was up against the wall, hair mussed up, panting.

**** This is where the sex would go, if FF. net didn't suck so damn much. For now, find it here, without the spaces. - goo. gl/TZ4ICq ****

The pair lay breathing hard and holding each other for a while, minds too clouded with pleasure to contemplate just exactly what it was they were doing. Matthew looked at his lover, smiling lazily.

"Let's sleep... It's late and I feel good..."

"O' course..." Berwald kissed him affectionately once more and pulled out slowly. Then he spooned him. "Sleep."

"M'kay..." Matthew snuggled warmly into his arms and dozed off.

* * *

Eight hours later, Matthew woke up, nearly panicked at the warmth on his back, remembered where he was, relaxed, then subsequently nearly panicked again when he remembered the events of last night. So much for being careful next time.

He didn't have time to think in over, though, because Berwald then woke up.

"Good mornin', Matt."

"Good.. Good morning..."

Berwald kissed Matthew's neck tenderly. "Everythin' alrigh'?"

"Yes. No..." Matthew said plaintively.

"Wha's wrong..?"

"Berwald... I'm pregnant..." He started to cry quietly.

"Be serious, Matthew."

"I am..."

"I... I don' understan'..."

Matthew gave his explanation for his highly unusual biology, ending with an explanation of the pregnancy. Berwald just listened silently.

At the end, he whispered. "Yer... Yer for real... Aren' ya..? You're pregnant..." His hand slid down Matthew's torso onto his stomach. "From th' firs' time we...?"

Matthew nodded, barely staving off sobs. "It's your baby..."

"Wha' d' we do now..?" Berwald held Matthew a little tighter.

"I'm... I'm going to get an abortion... It's better that way... I hardly know you... I'd be a bad parent... It's just better..."

"I know tha' it's yer choice... But... I don' want tha'..."

"I can't raise a baby..."

"Let me... I want 'im... Let me raise 'im..."

"Berwald... You hardly know me... You could get to know me better and decide all I'm good for is ignoring..."

"I won', but even if I did, tha' wouldn' matter... If ya still don't wan' t' be a fath'r yer free t' leave after th' birth."

"I don't know, Berwald... It's another 7 months of my life... It's life changing... I don't want a changed life."

"Please," was all Berwald said. Matthew was taken by surprise by the definite plea in his tone. He wasn't lying. He wanted the child he'd help make.

"I'll... I'll wait for another 8 weeks... Two months... That'll give me time to think about it without commitment either way... Just 8 weeks..."

"Thank ya, Matthew..." Berwald tilted Matthew's chin towards him and kissed him.

-x-

It may continue.


	5. Chapter 5

*****One Month Later******

Matthew woke up, in his own bed, alone. He breathed a sigh that was torn between relief and regret. He was relieved he didn't have a reason to be waking up next to Berwald, he didn't want to lose control of himself anymore. That had only gotten him into trouble. But at the same time, a little part of his mind was pressing at him when he tried to convince himself that he didn't want Berwald's arms around him in the slightest.

He shook his head and got out of bed. He didn't have time for that stupid part of his mind. His back hurt, and he felt moody. He didn't have time for this stupid pregnancy. He sighed. 'Why did he do a stupid thing like getting pregnant and then falling in l- Woah, woah, woah. Back up, mind. I am -not- in love. Key word not,' Matthew thought.

He headed to the shower, hoping steam would defog him, but the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Matthew."

It was Berwald. Matthew closed his eyes.

"How 'ave you been? Is ev'rythin' alright? You 'aven't called me fer... F'rever."

"I'm still fine. No news is good news." Matthew said, trying desperately not to get friendly. His mind was trying to make him as happy as a retriever whose master had just come home.

"Can I see ya tonight?"

'No!' Matthew thought, 'no you definitely can not see me tonight! I hate you, you inseminating bastard.'

But instead, Matthew just said, "Sure."

"Great. Does six w'rk okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be waiting." Matthew could have beat his own head against the wall.

"I'll pick ya up. Thank ya." Berwald hung up the phone.

Matthew hung up too. "Well, that didn't go as planned..." He said out loud.

At eight, Matthew still had all his clothes on. He was very proud of himself for this, considering the way their last two meetings had gone. Berwald was sitting beside him, with one arm around his shoulder. They were on Matthew's sofa in front of the window, watching the snow outside and talking. For once, they were talking. A lull gradually came in the conversation.

"Ah... Febru'ry fourteen... It's th' day of Saint Val'ntine, righ'?" Berwald asked.

"Oh, you're right." The holiday had taken Matthew off guard. "This is the first time in a few years I've had a date today..."

"I'm glad 't could be me..." Berwald whispered against Matthew's hair, wrapping his arm tighter around him. For once, Matthew didn't mind.

"Berwald..." Matthew said.

"Yes..?"

Matthew kissed him. Not like the other kisses they'd had. This wasn't a kiss out of desire, or a kiss of plain affection. It was an eyes-closed, seemingly hours long, melting-on-the-inside, fireworks-inspiring, this-is-love-and-you-know it kiss. And Berwald kissed him back the same way.

After some time, they pulled apart. Berwald looked into Matthew's eyes...

"Yer beaut'ful... An' yer eyes 're violet... At firs' I though' they were blue... But yer so much more sp'cial than tha'..." Matthew put a finger on Berwald's lips.

"Shh... You don't have to tell me anything. I know that you..."

"That I love you...? B'cause I do..."

Matthew's heart beat a little faster, and he blushed. "You love me...?"

"I love you, Matt... I really hon'stly love you..."

"I... I love you too." As he said it, Matthew felt himself relax. He felt it was right. The little piece of his mind was right. He was in love. Perhaps foolishly, but nonetheless completely. He pulled Berwald close to him. "I love you Berwald..."

That night they made love. A sort of sex that was more than just pleasure and halfway about just trying to be one together. Trying to get close enough that even skin wasn't between them. It was beautiful. Matthew felt beautiful. He felt loved. And after the lovemaking was done, he didn't feel alone.

* * *

Matthew woke up before Berwald again. This time he stayed in bed, watching him sleep and smiling softly. The blonde yawned and opened his piercing blue eyes.

"Mattie..? Ya didn't r'n off thi' time..."

Matthew smiled teasingly. "I couldn't, it's my own house."

"Oh..." Berwald sounded disappointed.

"But I wouldn't have left even if it wasn't. I.. I meant what I said last night."

Berwald gave Matthew no warning before pulling him over to the other side of the bed, so he was laying on top of Berwald. "I men' it too..."

Matthew's euphoria from the narcotic called love made him see everything in a whole new way. "Hey... I'm pregnant..." He grinned, happy about it for the first time. "I'm pregnant and it's yours."

"Ah, it'd bett'r be!" Berwald teased gently.

"It's your baby..." Matthew nuzzled him, still smiling. "No, our baby..."

"D' ya want t' stay aft'r they're born..?" Berwald ventured.

"I do... I want to stay with you..." Matthew was calming down from his original high, thinking more rationally now. He still hadn't changed his mind. "Could we raise them together..? Maybe..?"

"I think tha' could be arr'nged." Berwald kissed him softly. "I think we could do tha'..."

"Berwald... I love you."

"I love ya too, Matthew."

-x-

It may continue.


	6. Chapter 6

Three more weeks had gone by since Matthew's miniature revelation. It had been a good week for both him and Berwald. He felt at peace with life, including the new life inside him. After forever being lost and forgotten, he found a place where he belonged and he was wanted. Life was good.

Until he knocked on the door of his lover's apartment, and another man answered for him.

"Hello." The light brown haired boy smiled. "Are you here for Berwald? He's in the bedroom right now. Do you want me to get him for you?"

Matthew's jaw dropped and he just stared. He'd seen that face before. In a photo. A photo he wanted to forget.

"Uh, hello..?" The boy said again, "Can I help you?"

Matthew was about to cry again when Berwald came out from the bedroom, on his way to the kitchen. He didn't look past him to see Matthew. And it didn't help that he was shirtless.

"Tino, get away fr'm my door. It's my job t' answ'r tha'."

"I was just trying to be helpful."

"Who is it?"

"Some guy. He isn't talking and it's creeping me out. Come rescue me, honey." Tino smiled in Berwald's direction.

"Don' call me tha'... Ya know I ha'e it.." Nonetheless, Berwald strode over to the door. He got a worried look on his face when he saw who it was. "Matthew..."

"Wh-... What the hell, Berwald?" Matthew said, voice cracking once again.

"Oh, so you know this guy?" Tino asked unhelpfully.

"Stay out o' this, Tino," Berwald said. "Matthew, I can expla'n..."

"Did you sleep over last night...? In the same bed..?" Matthew asked Tino, ignoring Berwald.

"Yeah. So?" Tino replied nonchalantly.

"You... You asshole, Berwald... You... I trusted you... I let myself love you.. My mistake." Matthew turned around and ran away. Berwald tried to follow, but Tino held him back, strong for his size and determined not to let him go.

"Tino, le' go. I need t' get Matthew."

"I don't want you too. We've barely had any time together."

"I don' want t' spend time wit' ya! I don' love ya anymore. Are ya listenin' this time?" Berwald was more than a little angry.

"That was a mean thing to say... I know you couldn't just stop loving me. Don't you remember our honeymoon? You didn't let go of me for a whole week. You loved me so much, Berwald..."

"An' about a month aft'r tha' I foun' out who ya really were. Ya cheat'd, and then ya tried t' play it like ya were just a victim."

"It wasn't playing. Denny really was manipulating me and making me doubt my true feelings and-"

"Manipulating my arse! 'F anyone's manipulative, it's ya. Even if ya weren't, it doesn't change the fac' tha' I don't love ya." Berwald snapped, furious.

"That's not true, Berwald. You stayed with me for two years after that. You have to love me still."

"It was out o' loyalty an' nothin' more. I figur'd I'd bett'r stay wit' th' person I married, wet'er or not it felt righ'. Ya just aren't who ya tried ta be, Tino. Ya aren't righ' fer me. Leave me 'lone."

"Berwald..." Tino pouted.

"I love Matthew. Alrigh'? I love 'im. More th'n words can say. I can tell it's fer real this time, too. Nothin' feels... forced, like it always did wit' ya.. I love 'im wit'out even tryin'... Tha's the way it should be..." Berwald had a pleading expression. He just wanted Tino to go and let him have his Matthew back.

Tino studied his face, visibly upset. "Can I change your mind..? Can I make you love me again..? I'll try and get over Denny... Please..?"

"No, Tino. It's ov'r between us. Fer forever. It 'as been fer a long time. No more comin' over wit'out warnin' and tryin' to sleep wit' me. Ya can't even sleep on my sofa anymore. Ya can't be trusted wit' anything. Yer just... not righ' fer me... Go away, Tino."

Berwald went inside and came back with Tino's things. He pushed the bag into Tino's arms, and shut the door.

-x-

It may continue.


	7. Chapter 7

Matthew had been taking refuge with Yekaterina. He felt slightly sorry for occupying all her time when she might've had other plans. But he needed her right now. She was almost like a mother to him. Not that he'd know what having a mother was like. He'd only had a papa, and he had started to doubt in his teenage years whether his papa would even be the type to bring home a mama. He'd decided not when he noticed the amount of time his papa spent "out with his guy friends."

Yekaterina didn't fully mind mothering Matthew. He didn't need it often, but now was definitely one of those times. Her best friend was pregnant, scared, in love, and dreadfully confused. He had every right to be confused, too. The man who had gotten him pregnant was one he barely knew, but had fallen in love with anyway, and he also didn't know if he meant anything to him. He was worried about only being a piece of ass. Or maybe just the factory for a child only one of them was sure he wanted. Matthew was afraid of being alone having this baby, and also afraid that right after, he'd be dropped like a hot pan and ignored, his only real purpose having been fulfilled.

Matthew had his head on Kat's shoulder, and was telling her all about his fears. For now she just patted his back gently and let him get it all out.

"And I think he's still sleeping with his ex... He could be... He's p-plenty insatiable around me... If I wasn't there he could... I should've asked him all this before falling in love. *sob* What if the whole time he's been sleeping around? I don't w-wanna be pregnant... I don't want a baby... I'm s-scared... What if I have the baby and something goes wrong? The doctor said it'd be okay just as long as I got to the hospital as soon as the baby s-started coming... But what if one of us gets hurt? What if Berwald bails on me for his ex and I'm raising his child all on my own..? I can't afford to not have a job.. And I can't afford babysitters for that long either... I.. Kat, I don't know what to do. *sob* I w-want the baby now... I want to see how beautiful his baby's gonna be, an' I want to hold it, and dress it, and take care of it all the time, but I can't afford to parent all by myself! And-"

"Mattie, hush." She put her hand over his mouth. "I know you're scared, but now all you're doing is worrying. Think about what you know, and not what you don't, okay?"

"Like what...?"

"Well, you know you've got me to rely on. And your dad would come down and babysit free if you needed it. I know he seems kinda sleazy, but he raised you alright. And even if Berwald leaves, he'll have to pay child support."

Matthew sniffled. "I wasn't thinking about that..."

"It's not the end of the world, Mattie. Besides, the way you describe how he was talking to his ex, it doesn't seem like he loves him still..."

"But what if he does..? What if I'm not the only one? What if he's been sleeping around and now I have herpes as well as a baby..?" Matthew was worrying again.

"I said hush, Mattie. What if dinosaurs decided to come to life and wear top hats and monocles and sit around sipping tea with that British guy?"

Matthew giggled shakily. It was funny even if he was sad. "I guess that they'd be good company for the unicorn he mutters about..."

"That's it," Kat smiled. "There's the Matthew I know and love."

He sat up and wiped his eyes. "Sorry I kinda dissolved on you. I'm okay now."

"It's alright." She patted his back.

"I've been whining about my love life to someone who's single. That's kind of a mean thing to d-"

"But I'm not single." Yekaterina blurted out. Then she blushed.

"Hey, you didn't tell me about this!" Matthew smiled and perked up. "Come on, spill. Who are they?"

"N-no, I don't wanna say. You'll think it's gross, Matt."

"It's a girl, isn't it? That's not gross, it's just fine."

Kat was blushing the color of a strawberry now. "It's not that... I mean, it is a girl, but it's which girl.. It's complicated."

"Love is always complicated. Come on, you can trust me, Kat. I always knew something was going on when you 'spent time with your sister.'"

Yekaterina froze, her eyes open wide. "Y-you knew I was sleeping with Natalia...?"

It was Matthew's turn to freeze, mostly out of confusion. "Wait, you were actually spending time with your sister? I thought that was the excuse you made when you had a hot date."

"Well, yes and no. It was both..." She looked scared, and tears were welling up in her eyes. "Please don't tell anyone..."

"You love your sister as more than a sister, don't you?"

She nodded, starting to cry. "Don't tell anyone, please. They don't understand.."

"Don't cry, Kat... It's okay. Love happens. You can't choose the person. If they happen to be someone close to you, you can't help it anymore than I could help falling in love with a man I don't really know... It's okay..."

"You mean it, Matt? You don't think I'm disgusting?"

"Of course not. You're just you."

Kay smiled. "See? People surprise you all the time..."

"They do, don't they?" Matthew smiled back, "I think I'm gonna give Berwald a chance to explain, at least. He's a good guy..."

"He loves you, Matt. You don't hold someone close for hours if you don't. I can tell he loves you... A lot."

"You really think..?"

"I do."

* * *

Hours later, Matthew and Yekaterina had nearly forgotten they had problems. They were on her bed, giggling like high school girls at a sleepover about something. Matthew couldn't really remember what. But it was fun.

Kat stopped laughing after a while because her sides were starting to hurt. "Hey, Matt?" She asked, grinning still. "What would you do for love?"

"You mean, like, to get someone to love me?"

"No, like if someone who you loved needed you to do it. If they asked you."

"I'd probably quit my job for love."

"That's the only thing you're willing to do for love? Geez, you're cold."

"I'd do other things too! I'd... Hmm... I'd prolly give up part of my liver. Maybe a kidney too. If they needed it and I loved them, I'd definitely do that."

"Yeah? Keep going."

"Well... Okay. I'd give them money. And I'd sleep with someone I'd barely met, already did that. And I'd... Hmm... I'd go into prostitution if they asked me."

"Seriously?!" Kat laughed. "You'd be a hooker for love? Geez, you are desperate!"

"Am not! I wouldn't have a shotgun wedding for love."

"So, you'll sell your ass, but you won't wear a ring?" Kat raised her eyebrows.

"Well, if you put it that way it sounds bad. What would -you- do for love?"

"Oh, gosh, lots of stuff. If she asked me, I'd probably kill someone."

"You wouldn't be able to, you big softy."

"Hey, no boob jokes."

"Wha-? Oh! I didn't mean it like that." Matthew was giggling again.

"I know, I'm teasing." She smiled back. "Anyway, I'd elope, and I'd run away from home, and I'd live in Siberia, and I'd have run ins with the mafia. And... Hmm... I'd give up sex for the rest of my life."

"If someone loved you, wouldn't they be sleeping with you?"

"Love doesn't always equal sex, my slutty little friend."

"I take offense!" Matthew grinned, "I'm not little."

Kat pushed him playfully, still laughing. "You're silly."

They calmed down after fifteen minutes and were just laying on the bed, smiling softly.

"Hey, Matt...?"

"Yeah, Kat?"

"Are you going to make up with Berwald?"

"Yeah, I think I'm ready to now."

"What if he -was- cheating...?"

"Well... I s'pose it'll depend on if he's sorry, and if he's going to do it again..."

"I hope he wasn't."

"Me too."

"If you need me to sic my little brother on someone, just let me know."

Matthew smiled at her, "Thanks, Kat."

"No problem. That damned Swede had better treat my Matthew right."

"Your Matthew?"

"My Matthew. I own you. Like a puppy."

"Ah, nice to know."

A few more quiet minutes passed.

"Kat?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm gonna go see him now. I... I miss his arms..."

"I hope it goes well."

"I think it will. We love each other. So, so much..."

"I know, Mattie. I know."

-x-

It may continue.


	8. Chapter 8

Matthew knocked on the familiar door, and prayed to God that the same person as last time didn't answer. He couldn't take that. He closed his eyes and braced himself for the attack of that sickeningly adorable voice. The door opened and Matthew opened one eye. At his eye level, there was a broad chest. He breathed a sigh of relief.

He'd barely had time to take that breath before he was being hugged tight. He didn't say anything, just hugged back. Berwald picked Matthew up, carrying him inside and shutting the door behind them with his foot.

"Matthew... " Berwald said breathlessly, "Ya came ba'k. Thank ya. I was scared tha' ya'd jus'... Leave..."

"I wouldn't do that... I couldn't go unless I was sure you didn't love me..."

"I love ya... I loved ya fr'm the firs' night..." Berwald sat down on the sofa with Matthew in his lap.

Matthew was able to look his lover in the eye properly now. He hadn't shaved since Matthew had left, and a rough blonde stubble had made an appearance on his face. Somehow it only made him look sexier.

"Wow..." Matthew whispered inadvertently.

"Wha'?"

Matthew blushed. "I was just thinking... You look really good like that."

"Oh, ya mean.." He rubbed his jaw self consciously.

"Don't worry, it looks..." Matthew searched for a way to describe it. There was studliness combined with a bit of a bad boy look and a slight overtone of viking. Something about Matthew especially liked the viking bit. "Well, I like it."

"If ya like it, it can't be all bad.." Berwald smiled.

"Can we... Talk?" Matthew said shyly.

"Please don' leave me..." Berwald whispered.

"That's not what talking means, I promise. I just want to get the whole story..."

"Abou'?"

"About Tino... Why he was here..."

"Ah, I see..."

"So...?"

"Tino doesn' live 'round here. He comes by fer w'rk a coupl' times a year ma'be..."

"Why was he staying here..?"

"He talk'd me int' it when he firs' came over. T' save on th' hotel. I let 'im, 'cause I'm jus' too nice."

"What about him sleeping in the same bed...? I don't like that..."

"Ah, believe me, I don' eith'r! He always does tha'. Goes t' bed on th' couch lik' he promises, an' then sneaks int' my room while I'm sleepin'." Berwald grumbled, "I've 'bout 'alf a mind t' toss 'im out th' window nex' time he tries- Ah! But there won' be a nex' time. I tol' him t' nev'r come ba'k..."

"You must really be mad at him..."

"Only fer what he did t' yer feelin's when he op'ned the door an' gave ya the wron' idea. It's not so much as I've f'rgiven 'im for th' past, as I jus' don' care 'nymore..."

"What did he do in the past?"

"'Bout a month aft'r we were married, I caugh' 'im in bed wit' some oth'r guy."

"Ouch... I'm sorry..."

"It's compl'cated... We've got an int'restin' story t'geth'r...

"Want to tell me..?"

"Yer not goin' t' get hurt by it...? Yer sure ya wan' t' hear it all..?"

"I don't want to hear it more than once, but I want to know the whole story..."

"Well... We grew up t'gether, see? Childhood friends, ya could say. Everyone was always sayin' 'ow we'd grow up t' get married... Aft'r a while wha' they said start'd t' stick. I fel' like I'd be dissapointin' everyone if I didn' date 'im..."

"Other people are no reason to be with someone..."

"I know tha' now... But I tried hard t' love Tino. He trust'd me, an' he needed me. It always felt a littl' off, though... Like it was bein' shoved where it didn' belong..."

"He can't have needed you too much if he cheated..."

"Tha's compl'cated too. I didn't really... Ah... Have much o' an... Appetite? Sexu'lly, I mean... He got a littl' deprived."

Matthew just looked at Berwald.

"Wha'..? Did I say somethin' wron'..?" Berwald asked.

"Are you lying to me Berwald...? You don't have to do that... Especially if it's to try and save my feelings..."

"But I'm not lyin'. Not about anythin'. I swear, Matthew."

"I honestly can't see you not having an appetite sexually." Matthew said plainly, making Berwald flush.

"Yer just... A special case. Er... I'm rath'r cold oth'rwise..." Berwald was obviously unaccustomed to being asked about his sex drive.

"For real..?"

"Yes. Yer th' person I can't really control m'self aroun'..." He averted his eyes from embarrassment.

Matthew just looked awed. "But you're always ready to go with -me-..."

"Yer always bein' seduct've. A man can't help 'imself when 'xposed to all tha'..."

"You're making me want to try being seductive on purpose now.." Matthew smiled softly.

"Ya mean ya weren't doin' it on purpose? Ya could'a fool'd me."

Matthew giggled. "Thank you for telling me the whole story. And for the sweet talk at the end..."

"Ah, tha' wasn't sweet talk. Tha' was just true." Berwald kissed Matthew and pushed him gently onto his back underneath him. He nipped at Matthew's throat. "Let me show ya how true.."

**** Again, this is where the sex would go IF FF. net DIDN'T SUCK SO MUCH. You can find it right here :D - goo. gl/V2A2Na****

Then he mustered up the last bit of strength he had to carry him to the bedroom and collapse onto the bed. "I'd love t' talk some m're, but I need a rest, love.."

Matthew had already fallen asleep in his arms.

-x-

It may continue.


	9. Chapter 9

*****Two Months Later******

Matthew had fallen in love with a man and gotten pregnant with his child. Though, it hadn't happened necessarily in that order. And now, if it hadn't before, that pregnancy was causing a problem.

Matthew hadn't been advertising the fact. It wasn't planned or expected, and he wasn't part of a relationship where it was socially "okay" to fall pregnant. Matthew wasn't even part of a gender where it was okay. And now, he was losing the ability to choose who knew about it.

He stood in front of the mirror sideways, sucking in as much as he could. No use. He still looked pregnant. Dammit. He'd read stories about people who hardly showed the whole time. Why couldn't he be like that? But, no. Matthew likened the experience to being a turkey timer that had just popped. In the same way, there was no way to get his goose uncooked.

He sighed and put his shirt back on. He'd had to go up a size when his original clothing began to get too tight to even resemble fitting well. Now, since his shoulders hadn't grown, he looked like he was running around in clothes that were simply too big. He wished they made men's maternity shirts.

He considered the irony of that wish as he pulled up his pants. Dammit, now they wouldn't button either. He stared pathetically at the gapping front in the mirror. He figured calling in sick would come off better than wearing sweat pants to work.

He walked into his living room with his pants open. Bernwald was on his sofa reading the paper, having stayed over the night before.

"It's all your fault," Matthew said plainly.

"Good mornin'. I love ya too." Berwald said, turning the page.

"My pants won't button anymore..."

"Ah, I see..."

"Do you love me enough to get me new pants?"

"D' ya love me 'nough tha' ya'll come o'er an' kiss me?"

"Yes." Matthew kissed him, smiling softly.

Berwald pulled him into his lap. "It's true... Wha' they say abou' pregnan' peopl' bein' all th' more beaut'ful."

"You're a sweet talker. Always have been," Matthew touched his forehead to Berwald's. "That's what got me in this condition in the first place."

"Ah, as I r'call, ya were pr'tty sweet on me wit'out me talkin'."

"Shush, you. I like to pretend I was defenseless when there are tiny feet stuck between my ribs."

Berwald looked down, raising his eyebrows in slight surprise. "Th' babe can do tha'? I though' they were a littl' more c'nfined."

"Oh, they definitely can. And then they sit right on your bladder. And then they stretch and hit both targets at once. And don't get me started on kidneys..." Matthew was really only whining now.

"Ya make me gl'd I can't get pregnan', Matthew."

"Don't be so sure," Matthew mock scowled. "You don't know until you take it from someone and it sticks."

"Ah, see. Whet'er or not I could, I don' take it. Tha's yer job."

"When you say it like that, it makes me sound like a hooker. I have an actual job, you know."

"I know. An' I hafta get ya some clothes so ya can go, so get up." He patted Matthew's thigh, and Matthew got off.

"Thank you, Berwald."

* * *

Two days later, Matthew didn't need the pants. And he was crying on the couch. The combination of the sudden information and the sudden emotion made Berwald fear the worst, but, thankfully, it was only the really bad.

"They laid me off... They just... Laid me off... I never showed up late... I did my job really well... I thought I was a valuable employee..."

"Shh, Matthew. It's not 'bout how good a work'r ya are," Berwald offered comfort.

"It was supposed to happen six weeks ago, but they forgot to tell me..."

"Tha's... Ouch."

Matthew sniffled, "Yep. And now I don't have income or insurance... I don't know what I'm going to do about the baby... It's not like I can have them at home, I'm not built that way..."

"Well... Ya could..." Berwald was deep in thought.

"Have them at home? No, definitely not. I don't think you can learn to be a surgeon in three months. You work at IKEA." Matthew wiped his eyes on his sleeve, still crying a little.

"C'rrection, I run IKEA. 'M in charge."

"Okay, you're in charge. You're still not a surgeon."

"I wasn' talkin' 'bout tha' anyway. I was thinkin', maybe ya could come live 'n Sweden fer a littl' while. The medic'l stuff, it's bett'r o'er there. An' it's a beaut'ful place, very relaxin'. I 'ave a house there. Ya could stay fer... Fer as long as ya want'd."

"Live there...? Like... Move in with you?"

"We pract'cally live t'gether a'ready."

"But we still have our own space..."

"My house isn't tha' small."

"Well... It's another continent..."

"It's a big move, but ya could always come ba'k, if ya wanted. Or ya could stay. Ya'd love th' people. Mos' everyone speaks English. An' they'd have a job somewh're for ya."

"Let me think about it..."

"Take yer time, we've got pl'nty." Berwald comforted.

"I've thought about it. Let's do it." Matt said a fraction of a second later.

"Funny boy..." Berwald kissed him softly.

-x-

It may continue.


	10. Chapter 10

Three weeks of planning had come and gone, and finally all of Matthew's belongings and affairs were in order. Berwald had been granted a transfer back to his home country, and he was dead set on taking the... other parent of his child with him. They were just packing the very last boxes and Matthew was on the phone with the overseas moving company.

"Yes. Uh huh. Yeah. Can you get them there within three weeks? Great, great." Matthew had been on the phone for years, he felt. "Oh, excuse me for a moment."

He whispered loudly over to Berwald, who was packing up the bedroom shelf, "Don't pack that! That comes with in my suitcase."

"Th' book..?"

"No, Kumji-..." He paused, trying to remember what the name he had settled on had been. He gave up for time's sake. "The Teddy bear. He comes with."

"Ah... 'F ya say so," Berwald set Kumajirou aside and resumed packing.

Matthew resumed talking to the mover. "Sorry about that. No, you don't have to come by, we're dropping it off tonight. Yes. Thank you. Okay. Goodbye."

"Yer cute, Matthew."

"Hey, don't judge. He's been mine since I can remember."

"I had som'thin' like tha' when I was littl'," Berwald sounded slightly whistful.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. It was a toy car wit' a littl' tiny seatbel' in. An' doors tha' worked, too. I always want'd a car jus' like tha'."

"Now that's cute." Matthew smiled.

"It was a Volvo." Berwald said, as if that was all the explanation it needed. Matthew just smiled and nodded.

* * *

Yekaterina met Matthew at the coffee shop. She had tears in her eyes already, being as sensitive as she was. Matthew came over to the table she was at.

"Hiya."

"Hey, Matt. So, you're getting on the plane tonight?"

"Yep. Then 18 hours later we get into Stockholm."

"I know it sounds long, but it goes by fast honestly. I go back and forth from here to Ukraine at least once a year, and that's about the same distance, right?"

"I think so. I'll write you a letter during the trip, okay?" Matthew smiled at her. She smiled back.

"I'd like that. I'll come visit you sometime, okay? Check up on you and the baby. You'd better send millions of pictures of everything, too."

"Alright, I'll take pictures. And I'll come back to visit sooner or later." Matt patted her hand. "Don't worry."

"I'm a little nervous for how I'm going to get on without my best friend around..." She murmured.

"Hey, you do alright at work without me. And Natalia lives close by. I'm only a phone call away, even if it's 3 AM in Sweden. Promise."

"Okay, okay. Next time I'm in Europe, count on seeing me, okay?"

"Got it." He hugged her tight.

His watch started beeping at him.

"Dang it... Time to go to the airport."

"I can take you. We could use the extra 20 minutes to talk anyhow."

"We could."

Yekaterina took him to her car.

"Hey, Kat?" Matthew said softly.

"Yes, Matt?"

"I'm really gonna miss you."

"I'll miss you too."

* * *

Berwald was practically carrying Matthew into the house. A combination of jet lag, too much excitement, and pregnancy had pushed him to a near-catatonic state of exhaustion. Berwald took him to the sofa and eased him down.

"Yer startin' t' get heavy, Matthew."

"Your face is heavy." Matthew muttered, collapsing into the cushions.

"Tha'... Makes albs'lutly no sense."

Matthew just yawned.

"C'mon, time fer ya t' get t' bed." Berwald nudged him off the couch and in the direction of the bedroom. He stripped Matthew's clothes off for him and tucked him under the covers. He kissed him softly before they went to sleep.

* * *

When Matthew woke up, Berwald was already awake, for the first time.

"So tha's wha' ya look like sleepin'. Jus' like an angel."

Matthew smiled at him, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "You have a comfortable bed."

"I hope so. Yer goin' t' be sleepin' in it ev'ry night fer some time." He moved, straddling Matthew's hips.

****Again, where sex would go. IF IT COULD GO HERE. I've half a mind to boycott. See it here - goo. gl/xlSA2y****

-x-

It may continue.


	11. Chapter 11

After a week, Matthew had begun to settle into the new home. Everything felt slightly alien. The wall outlets, the refrigerator, the art. Everything was similar, there was no mistaking what it was, but it was just different enough that it was disconcerting. Matthew needed something that was truly familiar.

"Bonjour?"

"Hello, Papa."

"Matthew! You silly boy, you 'ave not called in months."

"Sorry, Papa. I've been... busy."

"'Ow much busier can you be? You've already gotten pregnant." Francis raised an eyebrow for effect, forgetting he was on the phone.

"Well... I'm living with Berwald now."

"Wait, who?"

"Berwald. Oh, I didn't tell you. Berwald is the guy who got me pregnant in the first place. I met him again, and we're kind of... In love?"

"Thank you for not telling ton papa about all this. I did try to call in March, and earlier in May, but your number did not go through. Why is that, may I ask, mon chou? Are you avoiding moi?"

"No, I just lost my phone in March. And now I've moved. I couldn't keep the same phone number over here."

"Over where?"

"Sweden."

"Pardon?"

"Sweden."

"You live in Sweden?!" Francis was outraged. Not because Matthew was in Sweden, but because he hadn't been involved in the decision making process. "You only speak French and English, 'ow can you have a job? Are you living on the streets?"

"No, Dad, I told you, I'm living with Berwald."

"You 'ardly know the man!"

"We've been dating since Valentine's day..."

"That's no time at all! Real amour grows and burns slowly, like smoldering coals!"

"Like it did for you when you met Arthur, right?" Matthew pointed out dryly.

"Leave that out of this, that's different. 'E was made to be with me."

"Maybe I'm made to be with Berwald."

"How much do you even know about him?"

"Enough," Matthew faltered, "He's gentle and he likes animals, and he has a steady job, and he wants the baby..."

"Is that all 'e wants? I don't trust this man."

"He's trustworthy, Papa," Matthew said, exhasparated.

"Even if 'e is, are you going to be 'appy with 'im? Do you 'ave anything at all in common?"

"Dad, aren't you supposed to be the one who's all for love of every type?"

"Not when my son and grandchild to be are at stake."

"It's my baby before it's your grandchild. It's my baby and I'm having it with Berwald."

"Is 'e good for you, or is 'e just good enough? When did you last do something that only you wanted to do? Do they even 'ave hockey in Sweden?"

"I.. I don't know."

"I don't think you should be 'aving a child with a man you barely know. Let alone one who doesn't even know quite who you are."

Matthew was more than a little roughed up. "I'm sorry I called! Goodbye!" He went to slam the phone down hard, but he paused, his sweet nature getting the best of him.

"I still love you, Dad... Bye." He hung up without waiting for a response.

-x-

It may continue.


	12. Chapter 12

Matthew had been running the words of his last conversation through his mind constantly for the past couple days. He had gone past stewing straight into brooding, and he brooded hard. He knew he loved Berwald, and the same held true for the reverse. But, Francis's words taunted him nonetheless.

He sighed unhappily, trying to clear his thoughts. He'd burst into tears at being out of nutella less than a week ago. He wasn't exactly thinking rationally right now; his hormones had made sure of that. He got up and paced a little while. He sat back down. He went to the bathroom for the fifth time today. Not only were his hormones out of wack, but the baby had been pressing there hard lately. He nearly started crying again.

Matthew was properly miserable. He lay down on the couch, curled up and continuing to brood. What if his father was right? What if he really didn't have anything in common with Berwald? He ran through all the conversations they'd had that he could remember. Honestly, Berwald didn't talk all that much.

Matthew worried about this, too. Was Berwald uninterested in him? Was he only after his body? Was Matthew just some temporary baby-holder to him? What if he broke up with Matthew? What if they didn't break up and they didn't have anything in common after all? Would they grow to eat their meals in silence? No pillow talk after sex? What if Berwald stopped wanting sex from him? What if he got another man on the side? What if he went back to his ex?

'What if' was Matthew's biggest enemy. It didn't care about logic, or what he knew. It bypassed his feelings of love and affection, and now his mind was driving him crazy with the 'what if's. He looked up when Berwald came in the front door.

"Hello. I miss'd ya while I was workin'."

"Did you?" Matthew asked quietly, his voice trembling slightly with doubt.

"O' course... Matthew, is somethin' wrong? Ya don't seem yerself."

"What if I'm just like this normally and you don't know me like you think you do?" Matthew wrapped his arms around himself.

"I don' understan'... Are ya alrigh'?"

"No, I'm not alright... I'm scared..."

"What are ya scared of?" Berwald went to wrap his arms around him for comfort.

"Please don't touch me," Matthew looked away from him. "What do you want from me..? Do you just want sex...? Do you just want the baby..? What do you want from me?"

"Can't I jus' want ya fer who ya are? Can I want ya jus' t' love ya?"

"But what is there for you to love about me? We don't have pretty much anything in common..."

"We've got pl'nty 'n common."

"Like what?"

"We both like cold w'ther. An' we both like bein' close t' each oth'r even when we do diff'ren things."

"But you can't have long conversations about stuff like that. What are we supposed to talk about if we stay together?" Matthew started to cry.

"Mattie, yer bein' unreas'nable. There's nothin' wrong wit' the' way we love each oth'r now."

"But I'm not happy. I'm lonely."

"Let me make it bett'r, Matthew. Yer not even givin' me a chance."

"I don't want to..."

Berwald shook his head. "I can't do an'thing if ya won't let me... I'm goin' out again." He put his jacket back on, not letting on to the fact that his feelings were hurt.

"Fine, go..." Matthew buried his face in his hands. He meant well, but today especially he just felt so emotional. Berwald shut the door a little harder than necessary on his way out, making Matthew sniffle.

Matthew got up to go to the bedroom, and then felt something. Something was not right, and this time it wasn't his emotions. He ran to the door, throwing it open to call after his lover who was walking down the street away from him.

"Berwald!"

He ignored him.

"Berwald, listen!"

He stopped, sighed, and turned to face Matthew, glaring.

"Come back..."

"Why? It's not like yer particularly in th' mood t' have me aroun'..."

"Ignore that, I'm sorry. Berwald, listen..."

"I'm listenin'." He said standoffishly.

"The baby's coming..."

"Wha'..? Matthew, don't make light o' things like tha'."

"I'm not..." a note of panic rose in Matthew's voice. Berwald's eyes opened wide.

"It's early... They weren't s'posed t' come 'till July..."

"Berwald, please..."

He had already started pulling Matthew to the car, and he had no intention of stalling a second longer.

-x-

It may continue.


	13. Chapter 13

Matthew woke up and squinted against the bright lights. He tried to sit up, but a stabbing pain in his lower abdomen made him lie back down. Suddenly, all his recollections of what was going on and why he was in this place flooded back to him.

He propped himself into sitting against his pillows, and looked around for a phone or something he could use to find out what had happened after surgery. He found the nurse's call button and pressed that.

A girl with shortish sandy blonde hair appeared in the doorway. She had a small voice and was shivering almost like a Whippet. "Can I help you, sir?"

"Yes. I need to find my baby... Or my doctor... Or my boyfriend... But I'd really like all three."

"I don't know about your boyfriend, but I can get your doctor. Is that...is that okay?" She sounded as if she was afraid Matthew would yell at her for only being able to do that.

"That'd be great. Thank you."

"I-I'll be right back. Sorry." She disappeared from the doorway and came back with a doctor who looked almost exactly like her, only taller and male.

"Um, hi. What's going on...? Is the baby okay..?"

"Yes, it's a girl. She's in the nursery. Her, er, other father's there too."

Matthew relaxed. "Can I go see them? Please?"

"Of course. Just make sure you don't strain yourself. You did just get out of surgery."

* * *

Berwald was looking at his daughter. She was tiny, having been born 2 months early, but she was healthy. He thanked God that she didn't have any problems breathing or swallowing. He picked her up gently, surprised and how light her 5 pounds 10 ounces felt. She didn't wake up from her peaceful sleep.

"Hello there, littl' one... Mus' be hard work bein' born.." He said softly, smoothing her tiny wisps of hair. He sat down in the soft nursery rocking chair, just looking at her little toes and tiny fists. It wasn't more than a minute later that Matthew came in.

For the first time Matthew could remember, Berwald smiled. He was truly happy. He had his family with him. He was in love with Matthew, and with their new baby, and with life in general and having them all at once overwhelmed his stoicism. He pulled Matthew into the chair next to them.

"This is yer daught'r, Matthew. She looks like ya..."

Matthew took the tiny person from Berwald, just as awed. "She's so little. Is everything okay? She looks so beautiful... She's definitely your daughter too." Matthew smiled too, engulfed in tender emotion. "I never want to let either of you go..."

"Ya don't have t' let us go, Mattie." Berwald wrapped his arm around Matthew. "Ya get t' keep us both."

* * *

Hours later, they were still together. The initial excitement had calmed to a soft hum of euphoric peace. Matthew's head was rested on Berwald's shoulder, and the baby was laying against his chest. She had woken up for a while, ready to be fed and changed and cooed over before she wrapped her tiny hand around one of her daddies' fingers and fell back asleep. They spoke softly so as not to wake her.

"Hey Berwald..."

"Yes, Matthew?"

"I didn't mean the nasty things I said before."

"Shh, I know. Ya were jus' scared, it's okay."

"I want to stay with you. Can I stay?"

"I'd like it if ya stayed forever."

"I think I'd like that too." Matthew smiled.

"We should get married." Berwald whispered in his ear for only him to hear." Matthew blushed.

"I think I'd have to say yes to that offer." He turned slightly to kiss Berwald.

"Thank ya. Ya two are th' most beaut'ful things in m' whole world. I don' wan' t' come home t' anyone else but you..."

"You won't have to," Matthew stroked their daughter's cheek. "We're a family. An actual, honest to God family."

"Doesn' it feel nice?"

"Yes... Yes it does."

They fell into comfortable silence again, broken only by the soft sound of their breathing. Matthew felt the strong arms around his shoulders, and the tiny tiny fist over his heart. Something deep in him moved; a small part of his mind pressed at his thoughts. There was this funny feeling inside if him. He closed his eyes and named it love.

-x-

The End.


End file.
